How much you like them… — Kim Bielak

How they treat you is more important than how much you like them.

There’s a big difference between liking someone — even loving someone — and being in the relationship you want. But to a great extent (hello rom coms and online dating apps!) we’ve been trained to focus on the partner, rather than the relationship. Do I like them? Do I find them attractive? Are they smart/confident/successful/interesting/funny enough to swipe right?⁠
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When we see love as simply a problem of finding the right “person,” we unconsciously compromise the significance of ourselves in the equation. In wanting their love, approval, and to be with THEM so badly, we forget about US. ⁠
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How much you like them isn’t what builds a relationship. How they treat you, how they make you feel, and how much they are willing to put in the work with you does. What if instead of how much you like them, you started to put you first? ⁠

Kim is a Life and Career Coach and Marriage and Family Therapist Trainee in LA. To learn more, visit kimbielak.com.

Originally published at https://kimbielak.com on April 27, 2020.